Sat, 11/24/2012 - 17:00 — Pauline Neckles

Self-consciousness Can Ruin Your Love Life

Do you ever feel so aware of what others are thinking of you that you let that dictate your choices and actions? Then you just may be a self-conscious person. Self-consciousness can lead down a road to self-sabotage.

The truth is as you are trying to please others, you lose sight of who you are and often take part in activities that can be harmful to yourself. Losing and destroying yourself will leave you miserable and the sad reality is that the very folks whose approval you may have been seeking have often times long deserted you.

Believe it or not, being self-consciousness also has negative effects on a romantic relationship. The needy behaviour, jealousy and clinginess can often times drive a wedge in an otherwise healthy relationship. However, you can take steps to build your confidence and avoid the negative consequences of self-consciousness interfering with your life.

Unhappy couple

Know the root cause of your self-consciousness

You doubt yourself a lot, or may compare yourself to others, are may simply feel that you are not worthy of the success or happiness that others experience. This may be due to abuse you experienced or are currently enduring, or people comparing you to others and making you feel insignificant. Whatever the cause of your self-consciousness is, become acquainted with it so that you can root those lies and negative concepts out of your life, through prayer, meditation or conscious thought to empower yourself.

Become more self-aware

Many times we are self-conscious especially around others because we are not aware of ourselves or our abilities or even how we would react in certain situations. Getting to know yourself will erase a lot of the self-doubt that causes us to be self-conscious around other people. It will build your confidence by letting you know you are worthy of happiness and success etc., but it will also show you the areas you need to work on to be the healthiest you – body, mind and spirit. Allowing yourself to grow will help you then be more confident and worry less about what others think about you - even the one who you are in a relationship with – thereby enabling you to make the best possible choices for you and him/her.

Positive re-enforcement and affirmations

This is the stage to sit down and affirm and reaffirm to yourself that you are worthy of all the happiness possible. Whether every morning you get up and you repeat to yourself a statement such as, “I am worthy,” “I am intelligent,” “I am creative” or I add positive energy to my world,” take the time to put into your psyche how worthy you are to be alive and happy. This way when you meet and are with your significant you won’t damage it by believing that you don’t deserve to be with such a wonderful and successful human being. It will also make you more confident and less jealous as you know your partner is with someone who is his/her equal.

Prove yourself to no one

Many times people walk around with the “chip on the shoulder” mentality like they have something to prove to the world to be considered great. Knowing that you do not have to prove yourself to the world nor does the world owe you anything frees your energies to prove and validate yourself to no one but you. This makes you more comfortable with you in friendships and relationships. The confidence will reflect in a healthier, happier you in a stronger, more comfortable relationship. Your partner will see the person he or she is with as valuable and support your growth.

Your romantic relationships can suffer as a consequence of self-consciousness. Taking the above-mentioned steps can eliminate much of the negative impact this can have on not only your relationships but your long-term happiness. Share with us in the comments anymore suggestions you may have to add to our list.

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